Becoming a Househusband?

My wife and I know two families in which the wives are breadwinners and the men are househusbands. These are highly-functioning families where mom, dad, and kids are as happy as a modern family can be. It's clear to me that becoming a househusband may be a great idea for many men.


It's a fact that women outperform men in education and that traditionally low-skill, male-oriented occupations are being automated or outsourced in favor of fields that highly value skills that women offer as much or more than men. This means that there are more and more marriages where it makes sense for the husband to stay home and for the wife to be the breadwinner.

In low-cost areas where one income is sufficient, the woman will have increasing earning power. In more expensive areas, the insane cost of childcare alone may make it preferable for the husband to stay home even if he earns $50,000 per year ($50K equates to about $40K in take home pay, which is about $3,300 a month. Child care for two children can run over $3,500 a month. )

So in many cases, the most rational decision will be for the husband to stay at home. But how many will actually do so?

First, men must accept that being a homemaker is an important job, and they should be proud of it. Men are just as capable as women are of caring for children, and with significant training, can do a good job at taking care of the home. By becoming a househusband, they will be making a rational decision that makes the most sense for their families. What's to be ashamed of?

Second, some househusbands will embrace the subservient role they will be taking on. Others will have to accept it, hopefully with support and direction from their wives. Their wives will control the finances, and will make the most important decisions, such as where they will live, what kind of home and vehicle the family will purchase, and how the children will be educated. The husbands don't have to take all of their orders from their wives, but as they see the wives making the big decisions, they will probably realize it's best to defer to them in all decisions.

Third, and most importantly, husbands must admit the huge benefits their wives would realize. Wives would be free to pursue their careers to the fullest, and would help close the absurdly large gender gap in salary. They would be confident that their children were in safe hands, and can return at the end of the day to a home environment that is welcoming, peaceful, and extremely fulfilling. I would personally love for my wife to tell her coworkers, "my husband stays at home taking care of the house and kids." Many of her male colleagues have housewives, so why not her?

Alas, my salary right now is such that it doesn't make sense for me to become a househusband. While I would relish the role of supporting my wife and spending all day at home with the kids, in the long run I'm more useful at work, collecting a paycheck. This isn't such a bad problem to have, and as childcare becomes an expense for us, this may change. But for now, it looks like I'll be in the workforce.

I just wonder how many men are out there working, when their families would be better off with them at home taking care of things.

Femdom Imagery

There's an intentional lack of imagery on this blog because I find most "femdom" images run counter to everything I believe about women and my role as a submissive male.

Many (most?...ok, probably all) submissives frame their desires through things they learn perusing dark corners of the internet. Males tend to be turned on by visuals, so it makes sense that submissive men would learn a lot about submitting to women through these images.

The problem for me is that so much femdom imagery is about what the male gets out of it. "Forced" feminized men in chastity. Latex-clad women wielding strapons and looking very stern. Grammatically incorrect captions. It's all about giving the submissive man a rush. It's about putting submissive men first.

Femdom images inspire me to a greater level of submission to my wife, and to be more focused on my wife's needs, sexual and otherwise. They're not so I can imagine how hot it would be if my wife wore a dominatrix costume. 

That doesn't mean I'm not inspired by pictures of men being dominated by women. It's that I want the picture to put the female at the center (figuratively if not literally), and to be primarily about her pleasure. 

I don't want the image to be about the fact that the man is being dominated. I want it to be about the fact that a woman with a submissive male is receiving greater pleasure and satisfaction (sexually or otherwise) than she would from a non-submissive male. The male's self-sacrifice shouldn't be a part of it. It should be assumed, and out of the way.

And these images are important, so I'm going to try to collect them and add some to the blog. To do that, there's only one place to go. 

That's right--I've gotten myself a Tumblr.

You can check out the visual side of my submissive self at lovecherishobey.tumblr.com.

And I would be negligent not to point you to the best example of the genre I have found so far, alternativefemdom.tumblr.com. 

I wish this were a bigger piece of the femdom world, and I'd appreciate it if any of you could point me to more of the same. I think most porn makes women into objects, and makes men think the rules are different from how they really are. But I don't think all erotic images (OK, porn) are like that--I think it's possible for images to encourage internet-dwelling males to see women not just as people, but as people who can be happier and stronger if we love and support them, rather than seeing them as tools to achieve orgasm with.

And now that I have waded into that arena, I'm going to sign off, because the laundry is nearly done, and there is much folding to do before my wife arrives home.